A couple terms, and one very important distinction

Often, when homosexuality and religion are discussed in the media, you hear references to those who take the ‘pro-gay’ position and those on the ‘anti-gay’ position. Other labels, such as conservative, liberal, traditionalist, and progressive, are often used as well. However, I always have felt that these terms aren’t specific enough, and when someone uses one of those terms, I’m not always sure exactly where they stand. An issue this complex has so many facets and subtleties that are impossible to convey in a black and white, conservative and liberal, or pro-gay and pro-family dichotomy. For example, I know of self-described fundamentalist Christians who believe God blesses same-sex marriages, and I’m sure there are liberal Christians who believe homosexuality is a sin. While I could just reject using any labels at all, there are some common terms used by those discussing homosexuality and Christianity that I think cover the main points very well, without leaving us writing out small paragraph definitions of people’s beliefs on this issue.

The terms I’ll be using originated at an organization called “Bridges Across the Divide” (www.bridges-across.org), though I’ll be using them as they are used at GCN (www.gaychristian.net), where I first heard these terms used. Their usage at GCN, though slightly different than their original definitions at Bridges Across, seem to be the most common definitions of these terms:

Side A takes the position that God blesses monogamous, life-long, committed same-sex relationships.
Side B takes the position that God calls gay people to life-long celibacy.
Side X takes the position that gay people can change their orientation through prayer and reparative therapy.

Other, less commonly referred to terms that I’ve seen used:
Side AAA takes the position that God can bless same-sex sexual activity outside of a lifelong, monogamous commitment.
Side C refers to a position either in between Side A and B or that someone is unsure of whether Side A or B is correct.

Though this system of labels isn’t perfect, I think it’s a good starting point and is able to describe the beliefs of most people on this subject quite well.

One of the great points of these labels is that they make a distinction that is far too often overlooked when homosexuality is discussed in the Church: the distinction between orientation and behavior.

I think when people hear someone is gay, they automatically think that person is sexually active (or would be if the opportunity arose). Sexual behavior (and a sexually libertine lifestyle) is automatically linked with the term ‘gay’ in the minds of many people. However, this is not the case for a lot of gay people. For them, the term ‘gay’ refers only to their sexual orientation. I know many Side B gay Christians who identify as gay, while not acting on their sexual orientation. Also, there are many Side A gay Christians who identify as gay, but are abstaining until they get married.

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is that this distinction be made. 

For example, while some Christians who believe homosexual sexual behavior is sinful might describe themselves as ‘not gay-friendly’, this could sound to Side B gay Christians like those Christians are against them as people, just because of their attractions to the same sex. Likewise, when people say that “God and gay don’t go together!”, this may come across to celibate individuals who are attracted to their own sex that they aren’t welcome in the Church no matter what.

Likewise, churches who say they are ‘gay-friendly’ may be seen by other Christians as approving of sexually uninhibited behavior, when what they actually mean is that they take a Side A stance.

This terminology also helps to distinguish the positions of different denominational positions as well.

For example, the Southern Baptist Convention obviously doesn’t take the same approach towards homosexuality as the United Methodist Church does, although their official positions are that homosexuality in any form is sinful. The general Southern Baptist position may be best described as Side X, while the official stance of the United Methodist Church would be said to be Side B.

Can you see now how fuzzy these commonly used terms are?

A church says it isn’t gay friendly - does that mean it requires its gay members to undergo reparative therapy? Or that it accepts them if they are celibate but still identify as gay? What about a welcoming church? Does it take a Side A or Side B position?

Pro-family evangelicals - one would think they'd generally be Side X or Side B, right? Not necessarily - there's Evangelicals Concerned, a Side A group of GLBT Evangelical Christians.

There are so many shades of gray - or, in this case, so many blurred shades of the rainbow - that I think those discussing this issue with others don’t always know where exactly the other person stands. And I think knowing that is an absolute first step to any productive dialogue. Because if we don't know where the other person is coming from, then aren't we just going off of our preconceived ideas of who that person is and what that person believes?