Things Christians Can Do To Help Gay People, While Respecting Their Own Beliefs About Homosexuality

While the prevailing model of how Christians relate to the gay community has been primarily one of conflict, I think there’s a great deal that Christians who take the traditional stance on homosexuality can do to be allies to the gay community, while also honoring their own beliefs about same-sex sexual behavior. Some Christians might be surprised to hear that and maybe a little skeptical, but hear me out. I think this paradigm can be flipped around, and I think it’s what Jesus would want.

Fighting Homophobic Taunting and Bullying

Homophobia is rampant in American society, especially in more conservative areas of the country. Go to any high school, and you’ll hear kids saying, “That’s so gay!” or “You’re a fag!”. Many gay people, especially gay youth, often face constant mocking and bullying. Last year, an eleven year old, Carl Walker-Hoover, committed suicide because of the constant bullying he received because his classmates thought he was gay. Sadly, his case is not the only one. Clearly, this is something that Christians should speak out against. Taunting and bullying are morally wrong any way you look at it and should be considered a sin just as you might consider same-sex sexual behavior a sin. In fact, Jesus spoke against people insulting others (Matthew 5:22). Imagine the impact if Christians in this country all spoke out against homophobia. Imagine the impact if Christian youth in schools stood up for their gay peers when they were being taunted or mocked or beaten up by others. Actual lives could be saved. What better way to put the love of Jesus into action?

Outreach to Homeless Gay Youth

While this fact is not very well known, about a third of all homeless youth are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.* The sad fact is that upon coming out to their parents, some kids are kicked out of their homes by their parents or runaway when things get tense and find themselves on the streets with nowhere else to go. Needless to say, there’s a great deal of emotional pain and scarring that these kids have. Christians already have a call to help the homeless and comfort and help those who are suffering - imagine what the Church could do to help these kids and to given them the love and support that their parents failed to show them when they most needed it.

(I'd definitely recommend watching this video on GLBT homeless youth. I found it online today, and it's pretty powerful (Note: It's a series of 5, this is the first one): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EQT84wdAp0&feature=PlayList&p=BB205F2D9C848DE0&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=15)

Basic Legal Protections

This title of this one may drum up some feelings of disagreement, but hear me out. In a majority of states in the U.S., gay people can be fired simply for being attracted to the same sex. While you may not think that even sexually active gay people deserve discrimination protection, think about celibate gay Christians who choose not to be sexually active. They can just as easily be fired if their employers found out they were attracted to the same sex. That can’t be right, can it? Fired for experiencing what those celibate gay Christians would describe as temptations, which they don’t act upon? Then there’s other rights that married couples get that gay couples can’t in states where there aren’t civil unions or same-sex marriage. While you might not agree with the idea of civil unions, what about things like hospital visitation rights? While you might not agree with the sexual relationship between a couple, would you really rather separate someone from visiting their partner in the hospital, even if their partner was dying? What do you think Jesus would do in that situation?

Suicide Prevention

Depression is all too common in gay youth (and for gay people trying to reconcile their faith and sexuality). Dealing with homophobia and rejection, being in the closet, issues with figuring out their faith and sexuality, and coming to accept themselves in light of all of this - it can easily become overwhelming. Because of this, the rate of suicide attempts of gay youth is about three times that of straight youth, ranging from 30-40%* (measuring suicides by gay youth is hard, as many are not out to anyone, so there's uncertainty in the figure). That’s about one in three gay teens. Suicides by gay teens make up about a third of all teen suicides. I think the Church could play a huge role in reducing this number, by fighting homophobia both in and outside the Church, by being a safe place for gay Christians, and helping gay people to realize their worth as children of God.

I think an important distinction that needs to be made in the debate over homosexuality, and that often gets overlooked by certain people in Church is that gay people, are, well, people. Unfortunately, I think some of those who think homosexuality is a sin confuse the behavior with the person, and therefore attacking the person gets blurred in with fighting against what they see as a sin. Any attack against the ‘homosexuals’ is seen as an attack against sinful behavior. And this becomes a dangerous situation, because the worth of the individual gets pushed aside. Taunting and bullying then become seen as justified. The person ceases to be seen as a child of God, and suffers for it, and they can often sink into depression or worse as a result. (Note, thankfully many in the Church have stood up against his way of thought, and I haven't personally experienced any mistreatment because of this - all of my Christian friends have been absolutely amazing in regards to me being gay. I hope I'm not coming across as exaggerating how prevalent this line of thinking is in the Church, as I think that kind of thinking is a shrinking minority, but I felt like it's worth mentioning, as it's certainly out there and the negative effects of suck thinking are serious.)

I’m an optimist on this issue - I think a great opportunity exists for the church in this area, and I think it’s already started to make some significant progress, especially among the younger generation. Christians make up around 76% of the US population. Imagine if all Christians stood up for their gay neighbors, co-workers, and classmates - stood up against the homophobia they regularly experience. Christians could go from being seen as the ‘anti-gay’ group, to being the ones who eliminated homophobia in American society, the ones who took in homeless GLBT youth from the streets, who lowered the suicide rate for gay youth by being there and standing up for their gay friends, and who stood up for (at least) the most basic rights for gays and lesbians. You may think that’s a stretch, but I think it’s possible. 

• The figures I listed are from “http://www.jeramyt.org/gay/gayteenhealth.html”, which has an in-depth article on the risks gay teens face, with plenty of references and data. Also, I hope this post doesn’t make it seem that every gay teen is on the verge of committing suicide or becoming homeless - that’s obviously not the case. But a shockingly higher percentage of gay youth are at risk for suicide and becoming homeless, and I think it needs to be recognized and addressed by our society and the Church. 

(If you are reading this, and are gay and contemplating suicide or are severely depressed, please call the Trevor Project hotline (1-866-488-7386) and talk to someone there. Even though you may not feel it, there is hope, and talking to someone can help a lot.)